Category: The Workings of Our Minds.

I follow this mantra in the same way as I routinely get up every morning.

DON’T STOP, DO NOT STOP living your day to the fullest, just doing, progression in terms of not only the things you need to do but the things your soul pulls you to do, just trying.  

Find joy in your ordinary, getting up at 6am & being afforded another new day is a blessing.

Eating the food you’ve cooked is to be savoured.

Walking the dog is an opportunity to feel the air in your face and chat to locals along the way. The list continues if you allow it. 

Not fulfilling every part of your Being is nothing but damaging, its soul destroying. Ignoring how much is out there to offer you, the countless options, ideas, thought processes that make you think and behave in a alternate way. Why damage the very fibre of who you are now and your very own potential.

We always find an excuse, a reason why we shouldn’t do something, the primary reasons usually include the following:_

Too hard.

Inconvenient.

Uncertainty.

No time and/or energy.

It holds no promise of reward.

The point, we will ALWAYS find a reason!!

I promise you, you keep trying, you place all your efforts into your tasks which seek to better yourself, the rewards will come naturally.

I have a really bad habit of having a list of things to do and mindlessly going through that list until its complete.

Through the process, I do nothing new, my actions are habitual to the minor details. Guess what,  I’ve transformed into a robot that can flash a smile.  

So, recently, I made a conscious decision to not only enjoy my tasks while actually completing them but to do things outside my comfort zone, like jogging up that hill rather than walking it, painting & sketching, something I haven’t done in years, or just trying a recipe my mother cooked so I could re-create them smells and feeling of nostalgia in my own home. I do them things not for my son or husband, but selfishly for myself.

Why??? it makes me feel invigorated, like I can do anything, I don’t have boundaries or a formula for my life.

Every day has the potential of me learning something new, finding a skill I didn’t even know I had and growing, so, now I have more strings to my bow & ultimately more choice.

In truth, I don’t even want to recognise the old me, she holds no interest for me.

I’m far more excited with truly living each and every day, each moment and my own dreams, whether they lead to something or not. The point, I enjoyed today!!!

Life doesn’t always give us the opportunity to follow paths we choose.

Were regularly presented with unplanned routes not knowing where they lead.

Our perception, these journeys will be littered with difficulty, asking too much of ourselves!!

Sitting in my chemo chair in 2018, I was all smiles even though I intrinsically hated every minute of what was happening to me. Yet there, in my gut, I knew that there was a plan for me and ultimately this was MY journey.

Our life experiences offer such intricate insights, forcing the essence of our Beings to new unimaginable heights. They, whether it be in all their glory or despair, determine our stories.

So rather than being fearful, worried & anxious, I’ve learnt to wholly accept, the good and the bad.

Staying focused, calm & positive throughout has allowed me to take each day, each experience with confidence.

Chemo, ill health, accompanied by an assortment of life experiences as compartmentalized by me throughout the years, have repeatedly taught me that, however difficult it may seem, its all good, it will all come good.

I will come through having experienced the real fullness of my life.

At the end of each experience there is an undeniable realisation that it the hiccups are just a process, a period of adaptation and commitment to something initially un-welcomed, unwanted but can be ultimately rewarding, rather than making it a struggle I have allowed it to be, done the very best I could and watched it unfold, while finding the silver lining at the end of the experience !!

From one to another, I do hope that whatever your path is, you find the rainbows that await you and taste the sweetest joy of knowing how capable and talented you truly are.

There can be no rainbows without the clouds, I know its cheesy but it is a natural fact.

Debilitating 

You will never move forward with fear, it will either take you BACK to the past or a dark place in the present, from where your unable to move forward.

Destructive 

It infects relationships, careers, dreams and ambition, that little seed, left unchecked will cripple you mentally and physically.

Damaging 

Smashing self confidence, well being and failing to truly realise your true worth in this world.

Follow the rainbow that the clouds will give way to.

You & your time on this planet deserves so much more !!

That’s what I call it, mind clatter.

The working of your mind focused on your to do list,  pick up the groceries, need to order A,B,C…., wouldn’t it be nice if I managed to clean/clear this out……It doesn’t stop and its a daily habitual routine.

This is not LIVING, it is akin to acting like a human robot, regurgitating the same old without enjoyment of time or truly living and experiencing the days.

But I warn you now, it is one of the hardest tasks, to create new habits, to break down the old methods of doing things and re-learning, re-training your mind in the hope that you will live a more satisfied and fulfilled life.

Alas, that’s what my life cries out for, its non-negotiable, just as important as raising my son to the best of my abilities. I am determined to at least try.

When that clatter rears its ugly head in the back of my mind, I try and switch it OFF.

Choosing to live in the tiny moments that form my day, focusing my mind to truly experience, savour and devour those precious moments, whether that be feeling & breathing the air whilst walking the dog, creatively cooking a meal, savouring a sit down with a book and tea, beautiful details that make up my days & ultimately my months & years.

Creating memories of my life and the knowledge that it was lived in such a way that my heart jumped through the differing parts of routinely lived days.

ONE: Get away from them…..as far as possible. 

TWO: Don’t absorb the stress, either being forced or offered. 

THREE: Turn what can be a stressful situation on its head, consider it as an opportunity for change.

It sounds so simple, how can it be that simple ?

It really is that simple, but it is not simple acting out 1, 2 or 3, it is however, beneficial to follow the above steps in protecting your physical, emotional & mental well being.

The first task is to recognise it, acknowledge it and fully accept it. To have a deeper understanding of a particular situation, environment or person, and then to just let it go once you realise the situation or person(s) come with a shovel full of stress.

Don’t over think it, play it over in your mind, dissect it, re-evaluate, question yourself & others, just accept it as being in existence, let it go and move forward knowing there will be a solution, an answer, if one is required, that will come in its own sweet time.

Stress is a killer, it seeps into your body, mind & soul and slowly holds such power that it alters peoples mindsets, behaviours. reactions, thoughts and overall physical/mental well being.

There is always a choice, a choice to welcome & incorporate that event in complete acceptance so the stress falls away or to simply combat it by remaining clam, lucid & content.

I can hear it now, calm, content when faced with financial disaster, illness, or a really rough difficult few months. We have all been there, often, but truly realising that sleepless nights & driving yourself crazy would not change a thing, can only be the start of some form of healing.

On many occasions including being diagnosed I have automatically switched to warrior mode. I knew in that instance I risked losing taking control that ultimately would lead to a slippery slope. So I regained my composure and figured out how best to deal with  all the events where my heart has been placed on the line. 

Thus I opened my arms to all those events, even greet it as if it was an old friend. Suddenly I regained a sense of control, clarity of mind and a certain peace that it was and will be ok.

Thats not to say there still wasn’t dark days but I, now recall tackling them head on, accepting the dark day but knowing another new day was just around the corner, waiting for me.

Whatever happens, whether its regarded as good or bad, I automatically say its a blessing, that situation will allow me to step up, use my mind, consider my options and use my strengths in order to evolve.

Bad news for me leads to a shrug of the shoulders and getting on with the rest of MY day.

When I was younger I wanted to run away from everything, my home, my family, my environment, everything.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe, I recall that feeling as if it was yesterday and it drives so much fear into my heart, I can’t explain.

I did run, often, too often and on many occasions into circumstances and environments that were not safe for a young girl, but I just needed to breathe, to feel myself for a moment without the pressures of everyone and everything else.

I’m so grateful now that I’m safe and happy to the extent that I don’t feel that desire anymore, but I do recognise it in others, often…. and my heart goes to them.

I know that urge to resolve matters by simply running away from them, you may leave the circumstance but nothing gets resolved, instead it festers so that it leaves a stench that neither you or anyone else feels they can deal with.

I understand, however that sometimes it doesn’t feel like you can tackle certain situations and just have to accept events as they unfold, during these times, cling onto your sanity, your instinct & knowing whats right for you. Find your spirit and keep it central to your mind, allowing it to affect your actions.

Don’t deviate from it or try and alter it, justifying the change to match the situation you find yourself in. Be honest with yourself and swallow the facts.

Progression is slow and sometimes like drawing blood, but it is undeniably there for all, whatever your circumstance, little steps and recognition of those steps will progress your life to a place you never imagined possible.

I am still surprised to this day that I can be categorised as a loving wife and mother and the scars of the past don’t re-surface too often in affecting me & my space.

In these cold winter months I hope your all safe and find some sanity within your space…..and if your not, please find a space where you are safe at least, the rest will come, guaranteed xxx

This is a difficult one, one which never gets easier or you grow out of.

I’m a little older now and I would say that I have re-invented myself at least twice from a professional career to working in other industries to suit my family life.

However, from the outset I have had to push for my work, just to be successful in the chosen career paths that I have opted for, and I mean fought hard, thats not to say that I haven’t suffered from CONSTANT SELF DOUBTING, its been debilitating and negative in so many ways.

I regularly, consciously argue with myself whenever I have some new idea I’m developing. In time i manage to convince myself that what is stopping me is nothing more than self doubt and possibly fear. There is no logical argument in mentally stating my inabilities when I haven’t even began to put my plans into action.

I wish I was as confident as I am now in my 20’s and I also wish I held more confidence now in my 40’s.

It is ridiculous, what we do to ourselves, and that statement is based on logical sense.

We worry that we will fall flat on our face, people won’t like our ideas or our work or even us as people, its just better to remain the same!!

Like hell it is !! I think its actually worse.

There is nothing worse than being in the same position year in year out, for all the stresses, worries and self questioning, it is worth it, if it means that I am, in some way moving froward with my life.

Honestly, I no longer care what peoples opinions are or whether I’m successful or not, that has been the key for me, forget about the outcome and just do what you love, strive fearlessly for your ambition regardless of whether there lies success or merely a lesson learnt for the next adventure.

It struck me that there will come a time when my son begins to feel exactly the same, that fact is worrying & disheartening. As we begin forming into fully functioning adults, we slowly and gradually lose self belief , year by year until we question our own actions. 

Yet there is no risk attached in giving ourselves a chance, being kind to ourselves & thinking with clarity  is all we require as individuals in order to be happy and secure in our own skin and minds.

CONFIDENCE doesn’t come naturally for all of us but I think its worth fighting for, even if it grows slowly after being tested by our experiences. So even though life may be chequered with difficult, stressful periods, as extraordinary humans we can be faced with anything and have the courage & resolve to recover and regain.